What You Don’t Know Can’t Hurt You…. Huh?

December 7, 2011

Have you experienced the situation where someone has bad news to give you and yet they don’t say anything. They feel that because it’s bad news, there’s some good reason to procrastinate or not tell you about the bad news. They believe that what they are doing is actually being nice. Or, perhaps they feel that somehow by waiting they’ll be able to have more time to make the news go away or maybe they’ll even be able to fix the problem.

Quite likely, you’ve experienced this situation and you’ve likely been frustrated when you found how long they took to tell you. There are good reasons for this. You likely feel upset that your colleague didn’t believe that you could handle the news. And, you may now feel time crunched to deal with the situation. Most significantly, you likely knew something was up and didn’t feel in control which is a significant issue.

People are often in situations which are unpleasant, but, if they feel that they are in control of their own destiny, even if it doesn’t look good, then they are in a much better situation. This reinforces the importance of the concept of “control” to our success and our lives and work.

So two final questions…. Are you not telling someone something that they should hear right now! And, where do you feel in your work or personal life that control is missing. This is likely an important area to review.

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Posted by Paul Frazer

High Performance and the Olympics… Duh…

February 21, 2010

Of course, great examples of high performance exist at the Olympics. And, if you pay attention to what the athletes and the coaches say about the athletic performances, they will often say that performance comes back to mindset. A really great example of this was given today during the hockey game between the USA and Canada. At the game, Alex Bilodeau, who was the first Canadian to win an Olympic gold on Canadian soil, was asked whether he was more nervous watching the Canadian team playing or participating in the final of the Men’s Moguls in Freestyle Skiing. He responded quickly and confidently, “I’m way more nervous today because I don’t control anything.”

Control is one of the most powerful words / concepts that we have. If you have control, you have a lot. You tend to perform better, be more confident of the outcome and react better to a negative outcome. And, if you listen to the winning athletes, they tend to sound like they have control before during and after the event. They believe that they have control not over others but of their situation (not matter what the end result is).

So, if you want to wish your favourite athlete well, wish them control. And, here’s to control for you as well.

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Posted by Paul Frazer

Mindset and Your Dentist

November 27, 2007

Every time I end up at my dentist’s office, I am reminded of a few things related to the work that I do.  One of the things that I’ve discovered that defines those people who are successful is the issue of control.  Everyone is more successful when they are in control.  When I’m coaching individuals, I will inevitably work with the individual around creating more control. 

 A visit to the dentist’s office is an interesting experiment in control.  It is one place in life where you relinquish direct control over yourself.  You start by waiting in the waiting room.  Simple enough but you are now subject to the time-lines of others.  Then, when you are brought to the examining room, many people have to enter into a conversation of defeat… where they were not as successful with their promises from the last time they visited.  But, the most significant issue of direct control that you give up is your personal space.  You will shortly be allowing someone who is an acquaintance to sit very close to you and put their fingers in your mouth!

I am sure that you will agree with me how you give up a certain amount of control and, in some ways, are subordinate to the dentist, nurse or hygienist.  Rest assured, however, that they too are giving up some control.  They are putting their fingers in your mouth and are trusting that you will not…. damage their fingers.  :-)

So, a part from the obvious loss of control, what can a trip to the dentist teach us.  I think it’s a great playground for learning how we are going to react to a situation where we do not have complete control.  In other areas of life this is where you will be able to make great strides to even more success.

For me, I am truly lucky.  I have a great dentist and dental team.  I consider the visits to be a time to just sit back and relax.  Have I always done the best that I could have with flossing… maybe not.  But, I do realize that these individuals have my health care as their utmost concern.  That’s pretty cool.

And, regular trips to the dentist help create that external accountabililty that is so important for us to reach our goals – dental and otherwise.  And, good dentists know that.  But, alas, that’s a topic for another post.

Here’s to your health, in all ways!

4 Comments | Mindset, Observations | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Paul Frazer

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