So, what is the dark side of Christmas?  Well, let’s first consider what Christmas is supposed to be.  It’s supposed to be a time of good cheer.  A time of joy, hope and love.  And, parts of it are to some people some of the time.  But, for many people Christmas and the holidays are not what they are marketed as.  For example, many families have already experienced the “holiday fight” where emotions got a little tense and words got said that you may regret.  Isn’t it strange how a time to celebrate our friends and family can actually put the greatest strain on those relationships.

But, here is the real dark side of Christmas.  Many people don’t even have family to feud with.  Or, if they do, they don’t see them.  For others, a death in the family or other tragedy removes the joy and hope of the season.  For many who are lonely throughout the rest of the year, the holiday season is just an exclamation point on how they feel about themselves or their lives.

My challenge to all of us is to be more aware of those around us who might not be having a lot of fun during this “festive” season.  Who around you really doesn’t enjoy the holidays?  Who might be lonely?  Who feels left out?  And, why can’t we talk more about this?  If we talk more about it, we can truly make it a season of joy, hope and love for so many more people.

A large portion of the fun of this adventure has been the planning, as it is with so many things.  And, the nice part of this was that it fit so nicely with one of my mantras… you’ve got to take inventory.  If you don’t have a good sense of where you are and what you’ve got, it’s going to be a lot harder to get where you want and need to go.  Every step of the way along our journey to getting to this point has involved some element of taking inventory.  Whether it’s figuring out what we physically need to buy or acquire, or perhaps some additional knowledge or training that we need, we knew what it was that we needed by having done inventory.  All this helped us to be ready to make it happen.

Now that our adventure is about to start, we will continue to do inventory.  We need to know what equipment needs to be replaced, or what supplies might need to be replenished.  The same is true with our businesses, our personal and professional lives.

So, keep taking inventory and keep pushing to make your plans come true… whether it’s sailing, building a business, nurturing a family, or just living the dream.  And, then, make it happen.  For us the adventure down south starts January 7th.  More news to follow.

Quite likely, you’ve experienced this situation and you’ve likely been frustrated when you found how long they took to tell you. There are good reasons for this. You likely feel upset that your colleague didn’t believe that you could handle the news. And, you may now feel time crunched to deal with the situation. Most significantly, you likely knew something was up and didn’t feel in control which is a significant issue.

People are often in situations which are unpleasant, but, if they feel that they are in control of their own destiny, even if it doesn’t look good, then they are in a much better situation. This reinforces the importance of the concept of “control” to our success and our lives and work.

So two final questions…. Are you not telling someone something that they should hear right now! And, where do you feel in your work or personal life that control is missing. This is likely an important area to review.

So, let’s now look at being normal.  If being normal, by definition, means that you’re just like everyone else, then one can argue that being normal is to be without distinction or even to be bland.

What’s interesting is our societal conditioning.  Generally, I believe that we are conditioned to believe that we should strive to be above average and, yet to be normal.  This seems a little bit strange for a couple of reasons.  First, as we can see from the studies referred to above, most of us are more average than we think in more ways than we think.  Also, being above average and being normal also seem to be opposing goals in many cases.

It stands to reason that what we should truly be striving for is to be above average in our areas of strength while also striving to be different from normal as is appropriate.

So, how are you not normal?  Let me know.

Most people have felt lonely at some point while being in the middle of a big crowd, in a downtown of a city, at a concert, a shopping mall, etc. This condition is a concern and I certainly hope that everyone experiences this as infrequently as possible.

The above example is largely one of an involuntary condition. But, it does remind me of a situation that I’ve seen before that is voluntary. Let me describe a scene I saw when down sailing on our boat in the Caribbean. We were having dinner at a restaurant in a marina. While we were eating I noticed a group of people on a motorboat docked in one of the slips. Remember that we were in a truly beautiful place on a comfortably warm evening with a gorgeous sunset. What I saw initially was that a couple of people were talking to each other while most where just sitting there. Within a short period of time, every single person stopped talking to each other. And, very soon after that, each one of them had pulled out a cell phone and started talking to someone else somewhere else.

I’m always amazed when I see something like this happen, but it baffles me when it happens in such a place – a beautiful place, where all was good, where they had their travelling companions right there, where it was one of the few evenings that they have while on holiday. I just don’t get it. They choose to spend money on their cell phones (assuming that they were all visitors) to talk to somebody who wasn’t there.

I know that there may be some reason why the scene turned out the way it did, but it still illustrates what I believe is a problem in our society. Our inability to talk to and carry on conversations with other people that we know and love. Sometime it takes a little bit of effort and practice to continue or extend a conversation, but isn’t it worth it? Often we can learn a great deal from other people if we just try a little harder. And, often in the process, we learn a little bit more about ourselves.

So, let’s put away the cellphones and honour those people around us with some attention.

What I find is that when I pick up a different project for a while, when I come back to the first project, my energy for the project is higher.  And, more importantly, I also find that I may have a better concept of the project and make better decisions.  You could draw the analogy to the “let’s sleep on the problem” approach.  Giving yourself a little bit of time away from something can make a world of difference as your subconscious works away at the problem.

I also find that the variety also allows me to be able to get more done while being drained less.  Even the act of writing this blog is happening while I”m giving another project a little break.

So, when you’re dealing with projects (and almost everything in life and business is a project), consider starting and stoping.  Just be sure to be disciplined enough to get started again.  You will be happy with the results, and perhaps feel a little bit more refreshed.

And, feel free to tell me your strategies to project success.

It started when I went looking for a new car. I researched the features that I wanted and I filtered my needs down to one car. Next step, to go for a test drive. The result… I was quite happy. But, there was one thing bothering me. The speedometer and other dials were laid out in a really different style. Completely unnerving. But, I really liked the car.

I immediately knew that this was going to be a great experience. I knew that it was going to take some getting used to. And, it did, for a while. But, with so many things, once I got used to it, I loved it.

Isn’t that so true? The same thing happened when I had to go to a ‘chiclet’ keyboard for the first time with my present laptop. It took a bit of getting used to as well. But, I’m so happy that I chose to take the plunge. It was a great decision.

When was the last time that you had to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. It might be time to stretch some more. Let me know your story.

I really really liked that comment. It’s true. We only really get one chance to fail or at least to fail properly. Because the next time we try something similar, we’re unlikely to fail in the same way because we have more information than the last time that we tried it.

And, in fact, it suggests that we should pay particular attention to when we’re doing something that we soon realize will fail. We should be understanding it. We should almost be celebrating it… because it will never happen that way again, and that experience will help to shape us and help us evolve.

What a great way to look at failure… remember…. You only get one chance to fail.

Researchers studied women who underwent Botox injections in their face and compared them to a control group. What they discovered was that the women who had the Botox work done, generally felt happier. What’s interesting is the reason. The women who had the Botox are physically less able to frown or have a “sour” face.

So, that old adage to smile and you’ll feel better seems to have been confirmed. Or, at least the less you have a frown, the less you’re going to feel down. (rhyming intended).

One small caveat here is that we do not need to have Botox injections to have an effect.  

I was thinking about a crime the other day that likely goes unreported.  And, I expect that it may be prevalant.

The crime that I’m talking about is loss of dreaming, the disappearance of aspirations.  I think it is a terrible when people loss their ability to dream of what else they can experience or become.  And, I wonder if there are not a lot of people who over time lose the ability to step out of the status quo and experience where they could possibly go.

For example, I believe that there may be people with wonderful talents that are not being used.  And, I’m not talking about in work necessarily.  Although that may be true.  I’m also talking about extracurricular activities or volunteering.  Also, I wonder if people don’t get so caught up in their lives with the normal that they forget about all of the things that they want to do in their life.

So, my question to you is have you thought about the stuff that you want to do in life recently?  Have you added to you life list or bucket list?  I hope that you have or that you do soon…. no one else will do it for you.