Hesitation Hurts… Indecision Kills…

July 26, 2010

It’s true. Hesitation does hurt. Think of all the times that you have hesitated and lost. Perhaps it was a job opening, an exam answer, a new relationship or even that last piece of cake.  It all counts and it all hurts when the only thing holding you back from having made it was hesitation. Ouch!

Okay, but how does indecision kill. First, let’s look at what is the difference between indecision and hesitation. Hesitation is when you do make a decision but it’s just not very quick or there is a brief moment of self-doubt or recalculation. In a short time or even a split second, an opportunity can vanish. That is the power of hesitation. Now, there is a balance to hesitation in that it is possible to actually prevent a negative event by hesitating to ensure that everything is proper.

So, what is indecision if hesitation is the above definition. In my mind, indecision is the absence of making a decision. You are faced with a decision or with a next step, or even just an action, and you don’t make it. You “sit” there and you make no decision at all. You do nothing. In my life, my performance is at its worst when I’m am indecisive.

And, this is why indecision kills. You are killing your time. You are killing your learning, You are killing your creativity in some cases. You are killing your evolution as a human being. There is no redeeming side to indecision.

So, if you have to do anything… hesitate… but whatever you do… please, do make a decision.  What do you think?  Agree?  Disagree?


Legend Yacht Charter – Bareboat or Crewed Sailing Charters in Paradise

July 25, 2010

Ok, a warning, I have some personal news that is very exciting… at least for our family, and maybe for you.

Yacht Charter - Luxury Yacht

Legend Yacht Charter

I am very excited to announce that my wife and I have purchased a 50 foot Bavaria. It’s a great boat kept in great shape. It was initially purchased so that our family could sail it, and so that we could take our kids out of school in 2012 and sail around the Caribbean. Since that initial concept, it has grown to be much more. It is available to be chartered by anyone! We have an amazing yacht management company that can provide bareboat charters or fully crewed charters. So, if are interested in sailing in paradise, then our boat may be an option for you.

But, the concept of what we can do with the boat has grown even from that. I am now looking at doing leadership development programs, strategic planning sessions, etc. on the boat. It will be the perfect place to provide that sort of programming for my clients. Again, if you think this would be a good fit for you or your organization, let me know.

Luxury Yacht Charter

A Great Caribbean Yacht Charter

At the end of the day, this is a great opportunity for people to experience a BVI yacht charter. So, check out our new website for the boat… http://www.legendyachtcharter.com… and, let me know what you think!


My Pleasure…

June 30, 2010
I have the pleasure from time to time with my work to stay at a truly world class hotel. Recently, I was again honoured to stay there for a week while I was working. And, I believe that I can sum up their success in 2 words…. My Pleasure. Why do these 2 words, that every employee uses all the time, make them a success? For a number of reasons that I think that we can apply to our own work and frankly, our own lives.

First, it is their pleasure. What I mean is that they are taking ownership and defining that they are the owners of your impression of the hotel. Second, they not only say that it is there pleasure, but, they also believe it. Each and every person, truly enjoys being there for you in whatever role they play. For most of us, we don’t believe this. And, in fact, we can even become suspicious of people who truly enjoy their work. But, here, everyone feeds off the energy of the other employees and their guests. Do they sometimes have down times? Yes, but is that there default standard? No.

My Pleasure is the foundation of their customer service success. And, their customer service success is the foundation of their differentiation and of their business success.

It’s a great lesson for everyone. How can we make our work… My Pleasure.

Let me know about your thoughts and how you make what you do… Your Pleasure.


Invictus… The Power of Forgiveness

June 29, 2010
I had the opportunity to watch the movie Invictus the other day. It is the true story based on the South African Rugby team as they try to win the 1995 World Cup of Rugby to gain the honour of their country, the host nation.

For me, there were 2 great lessons. One, is the undervalued and underappreciated virtue of forgiveness. I think that many or even most people thought that South Africa could not go through the process of reconcilitation. But, in the end, they did and it was the right thing to do. Did it resolve all of there problems, no. But, it certainly put them in a better position than they would have been in any other case. Forgiveness can help heal and unlock a lot of hidden hurt that we experience.

The second lesson was the power of aspiration. If you don’t aspire to be greater today than you were the day before, you are certainly not going to be on the road to being all that you can be. And, this rugby team truly aspired to be more than they were, more than others thought they could be and even more than they thought they could be themselves.

As many of you will agree, a movie or a story has the wonderful ability to create inspiration and aspiration. I would suggest that this is one of those stories.

What stories, movies, songs, or books have been inspirational to you?


The Eyes Have It

June 8, 2010

This weekend was a great experiment for me in terms of the power of the eyes.

Captain Jo's Breast Friends

Captain Jo's Breast Friends With My Wife Taking The Photo

I was honoured to be a part of my wife’s challenge to walk 60 kilometres as part of the weekend to end all women’s cancers. The role that my 3 sons and I played was the same as last year — to be the best road team out there. We were there to support my wife’s team – Captain Jo’s Breast Friends. So, what did we do? We followed all the teams. We had supplies for them if they needed it. But, the most important role that we could play was to support all the walkers on their personal journey over the 2 days.

So, what do you do to support people who are often doing something that is pretty amazing and something that many have never done before in their life. We provided music – upbeat music to give them a lift. There is something very powerful about music and how it can support the human condition – the human soul. We also clapped. We cheered. We shouted.

The most important thing that we could do is to be there for each and every person individually. To make them feel like we were there for them and only them. I found that the best way to do this was to do something that will come as no surprise…. to look at each person, to look into their eyes and to give them as personal a message as possible. It might have been that we were proud of them, that they were doing very well, that this was the toughest hill on the circuit, that they looked really good, that it was amazing that they were still smiling. It didn’t really matter as long as it fit as best as possible with them. And, like I mentioned the most important part was to look into their eyes.

Looking into their eyes, reinforced our sincerity, it gave them a sense of trust that we were truly there for them. Having eye contact meant that for that brief fleeting moment, you were sharing in their personal journey, their personal triumph in some cases. Eye contact is so important to us as human beings.

We did that last year and people remembered us. And, again this year, we made a real difference. It was an amazing experience for me, and it so dramatically reinforced what’s really important and what’s important about the human condition. People who never thought they could accomplish this big goal were able to make it and we were there for them and with them.

My challenge to you is to go out and discover how you can support people who are testing and exploring their limits. You will grow in the experience.

And, tell us all about your experience… we can’t wait to hear your stories.


Get Away to Go Home

June 6, 2010

Sometimes, you just need to get away to be able to go home. What does that mean? Well, sometimes if you spend too much time at home, you will find that you lose yourself. You lose who you are and what’s important to you.

And, to regain that sense of who you are, sometimes the only thing that you can do is to get away. This might mean that you need a vacation, sometime it might mean that you need to work in a different place. It all depends but it will usually mean that you have a physical change from what you are used to.

This physical change means that you are able to jar your senses and to be able to re-normalize your perceptions of who you are and what’s important to you. And, that’s the irony, when you need to go away just to be more comfortable with going home. More comfortable with who you are and where you’re going.

So, next time you’re challenged because you’re feeling stale, try going away, literally! And then, tell us about your experience.


Attitude is Everything…

May 31, 2010

This is a short course on attitude, visually. 

We all have those people in our life who send us those emails that make their rounds.  And, we all from time to time will read those emails, although most of the time, we’ll just delete them.  And, less frequently, we’ll find an email that really makes sense and actually has some value.  These pictures are from one of those emails.  This boy has apparently been featured in many tv shows and justly so.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.  All they say is that attitude is everything.  And, if you don’t believe that you have the right attitude, then try a different perspective.  Perhaps these pictures will give you exactly that.  A new perspective.

Enjoy and please tell me what you get out of looking at these pictures.  See you at the bottom.

 

Hope this puts a little perspective in your day.  It did for me.

Let me know what gives you perspective.


The Journey Starts in the Mind Long Before The First Step is Taken

May 31, 2010

People often think of a journey starting the moment you take your first step on the journey.  Even when the journey is metaphorical, we still see the journey starting when we take our first action. 

I would argue that this is not the point when our journey starts.  And, no, it does not even start when we start to plan for the journey.  I believe that the journey starts when we start to conceive it. 

This change in perspective is important I think because it helps us understand how important our mindset is to the development (or cancellation) of our plans, our schemes and dreams.  How we start the conception of our journey has an effect and sometimes a large effect on the outcomes of that specific journey. 

To give an example of why the conception of the journey is so important, consider the process of visualization and the use of something called mirror neurons in the brain.  When we are visualizing something and not actually doing it, or if we see someone else doing something that we are familiar with, the mirror neurons in the brain fire because the recognize and are reinforcing the actions required for that activity.  And, even when we visual an activity that we are not completely familiar with, mirror neurons help us to understand what may be required and how we may need to react in that situation. 

Mirror neurons and visualization are a powerful tool to help us conceptualize.  They help to improve the odds of success on all of our endeavours. 

How do you use visualization and conceptualization to help with the success of your journey.  Write me a reply.


Mindscape Changes Its Landscape

May 12, 2010
Paul Frazer - Professional Keynote Speaker

A Different Side of Paul Frazer

Okay, it happened a little while back, but I still should be telling you about my new website on World Class Excellence.  This newly minted site is the first half of a 2 stage upgrade.  The layout and structure has changed to be more easily accessible but, the most important thing is that there is more information on the work that I do with my company – Mindscape.  You will be able to learn more about performance leadership, motivation, my coaching, my consulting, my speaking, and even a little bit more about me

So, I would encourage you to do two things.

First, check out the new website.  There are articles there that you might like to check out as well as additional resources.

Second, I encourage you to change your landscape.  What around you needs to be “landscaped”.  It might at work, at home, or at play.  It might be metaphorical or real. 

Whatever it is, now is the time for a change.


To Garden or Not To Garden

May 5, 2010

I went to visit my Mom the other day as I do frequently.  I’ve come to know many of the people that work in her building and noticed one of them outside working on the gardens.  It’s spring and the flower beds had been suffering from the effects of winter.  I noticed how much work she had been doing and I told her, “Great job.  It looks great.”  Her response was interesting.  She said that, “it needs a lot of work.”  That wasn’t exactly the response I was expecting.

What I saw as a great positive change, she saw as an effort not good enough.  This made me start to think about why we had different reactions.  She had a lot more invested into the project than I did.  She also was likely the one who would have to do the work so she may have been lamenting how much work was left. 

This may sound a little bit like the standard half full / half empty argument.  But, there may be a greater truth here.  I think she was looking at the garden as something that would be complete, when in fact, work on a garden is never done, is it?  It always needs more attention, care, planning, and more upgrading. 

Your Garden

Isn’t that exactly like our personal and professional lives.  It’s never complete.  It’s ever evolving.  We always need to tend our “gardens” don’t we.  Sometimes we’re getting rid of that weed that’s invaded somehow.  Other times, we’re enjoying the blossoms. 

The learning point here is that it, our personal and professional lives, are never done.  We can’t wait for them to be perfect.  We need to enjoy the improvements we’ve made.  And, we need to celebrate that our “garden” will continue to evolve. 

That change in perspective is a powerful one, especially when it’s springtime as it is now.  It’s a time full of possibility.  A time to celebrate the flowers.


The Pain of Comfort

April 30, 2010

I was struck the other day by how often people are quite content to stay exactly the same.  We are comforted by the thought and feeling that today will be the same as yesterday and we hope that tomorrow will be more of the same.  We’re not interested in something new.  We’re quite happy having the same kinds of challenges as work, the same routine in the evening, the same kind of weekend. 

Biological equilibrium in humans called homeostasis is important since we want to have steady levels of all sorts of things – blood pressure, blood sugar, etc.  And, so it seems reasonable that we would want to have steady levels of experience to keep things “level”.  And, I believe that many many people work with that mentality as their mantra. 

But, I would argue that a “steady state” is great for periods of reflection or rejuvenation but not great for us as humans in the long-term.  For example, we know that stress is a two-headed beast.  If we have too much stress it hurts us.  But, the lesser known evil is that if we have too little stress it can also be as damaging.  We need a certain amount of stress in our lives to be able to function property, to be motivated to move forward, and to strengthen us.  Just like the tree that experiences the forces of the wind on its branches grows to be a stronger and more powerful tree, so do we. 

This even shows up in our brains.  Research shows that being challenged mentally is important for us to keep our brains healthy.  Patients of Alzheimer’s or other dementia are encouraged to do puzzles and brain exercises.  The reason, is just that, it exercises the brain which it has been shown will slow the progression of the diseases.

Not having a the right amount of challenge and change can show up in a different ways for different people.  You might get a little depressed.  You might become disinterested in things.  You might become less social.  Whatever it is for you, it will be true that when things get a little too comfortable, there will likely be some pain involved.

Good luck on your journey.  Hopefully you’ll enjoy a little pain from time to time.

Paul Frazer
The Performance Explorer 


Harlam Globetrotters, A Brand and A Basketball

April 20, 2010

We went and saw the Harlem Globetrotters with close friends recently.  Wow!  What a great show.

I had seen them once as a kid, one of the major outings that I had as a child.  There were lots of fun then and they still are now.  They are good family fun and absolutely are rated F for family.

In fact, when I started to think about them, I realized what an amazing brand they are.  They have endured a very long time with an untarnished, accessible and totally successful brand.  And, what I realized while being at the game, or maybe event is a better word, is that they weren’t just putting on a show for today.  They were building an audience for tomorrow.  They were creating a legion of marketing representatives by doing what they do so very well. 

Here’s what I really liked.  They were accessible in so many different ways.  Their humour was easy on everyone.  But, more importantly, they priced their event (seats from $20 to $180 ) so that eveyone could attend.  And, of course, they had many kids there who were sponsored by groups. 

But, they left one of the most lasting impressions for last.  After the show was done, they invited people to come down and meet the players and get their autographs.  But, they also had merchandise available.  Specifically, the item that was being sold in astounding numbers were Harlem Globetrotter basketballs.  At first, my friends and I were hesitant to even think of getting one.  We thought they must be quite expensive as they were branded and were really nice balls.  But, we found out that they were only $25.  Amazing!  Why amazing?  Because, they were offering a great product for a reasonable cost (basically you couldn’t get something of the same quality for any less even without the branding).  Also, they had priced it so that most families could afford a ball for their kids.  They were offering something that was actually going to support exercise and play amongst the kids.  And, finally, the most brilliant part is how they were creating a viral brand.  Today, we talk about viral brands being on the internet, maybe a video or something like that.  Not in this case, they have balls going to hundreds of homes after each show.  What a brilliant way to create a following, not just now but for years and decades to come.

And, the image that will stay with me for a long time was the faces of the people in the Starbucks just outside the auditorium whose jaws were dropping and who were smiling from ear to ear as they saw all these kids walking down the sidewalk bouncing red, white and blue balls.  Now, that’s a brand!


I need a BBQ

April 14, 2010

Okay, apart from sharing some personal stuff, what’s so exciting about needing a BBQ?  Well, I do love to BBQ and I was really excited to get a new BBQ since the old one was on its last legs.  But, the really interesting thing I learned was in the shopping process.

You see the process of shopping for a BBQ could have been a really painful process.  For some people, they just go into one store, look around and then pick a BBQ.  For me, it’s not so simple.  I want to get the perfect BBQ for me.  If I were to just go into a store, I’d get overwhelmed and probably a little lost. 

In this case, I can say that the experience was a good one and here is why…… I knew what I wanted.  I took inventory of what was important to me, did some research as to what were the reasonable options and then when I went shopping, I knew what to look for, I’d narrowed down my search and I had a great deal more focus.  Does this sound like something that applies to only BBQ’s?  No!  Of course not.  This is the recipe for creating a powerful business, a powerful life, a powerful organization, even a powerful family. 

Knowing yourself is a wonderful tool in being content, being more successful and in general, being your best.

It’s exciting and in this case, it means that I have the right tool for the job… yum.  Here’s to a successful BBQ season (which is basically year round for us).  And, here’s to a successful season for all of your endeavours too.


Can’t Say Can

April 8, 2010

You can take the title of this post however you like.  It has many great meanings.  But, to flesh out what I’m thinking let me tell you about something that happened to me this morning. 

We all suffer from both can and can’t mindsets.  And, they can both show up in interesting ways.  I was on the phone with a lady setting up an appointment.  She asked about my availability for next week.  And, trying to be helpful I started telling her when I was not available so that she could schedule me in sometime around that time.  When you think about this you can see the problems.  First, she’s now focussed on connecting with me on the days that I have the least availability because those are the days that I hear.  And, I am now at her mercy in terms of when she schedules the appointment.

I could her the hesitation in her voice and then realized what I had done.  So, I quickly changed things around and said, “Actually, I can make it sometime Monday in the morning.”  What happened was that I told her what I could do.  She could more easily work with that and I was again in the drivers seat of my schedule. 

Most people understand that approaching this from “can” will get us farther often that from “can’t”.  But, everyone, including me, needs to be reminded from time to time.


Who Do You Think You Are?!?

March 30, 2010

I saw an interesting title in the last couple of days.  In fact, it’s for a new tv show called, “Who Do You Think You Are?”.  I believe that the show is about celebrity geneology.  Interesting.  We’ll see if it does well. 

For me what was interesting was not that there’s a new show coming out but the title itself.  Normally, we think of it as being an imperative question we might ask a child who is misbehaving…. Who do you think you are Johnny?

Who Do You Think You Are?

But, for me, it conjured up a more introspective exploring question.  Who do I think I am?  As many of you know, that is something that I think is an important question for everyone to ask.  Who am I?  When I take inventory what things do I list off?

To perform and succeed, one needs to ask a few questions:

  • Who am I?
  • Where do I want to be going?
  • Do I believe that I can get there?

Paraphrasing some work that two Harvard psychologists did, these are also the things that determine if you’re happy or not.  Generally happy people know who they are, know where they want to go and believe that they are on the path to do just that.

So, have you asked yourself…. Who do I think I am?


The Tortoise, The Hare & The… Flower

March 25, 2010

As mentioned in a previous blog, my family and I just came back from an amazing skiing vacation where my 3 kids learned to ski for the very first time.  Watching them grow up is like a Masters degree in understanding more about people, how we perform, lead, learn, and just generally provides a lot of insight into high performing individuals. 

Each of my kids evolved quite differently over the week although they each transformed into a much better skier.

The Tortoise, The Hare & The Flower?

One son was like the proverfial Hare, who had a lot of natural talent who took to skiing immediately and with an almost eery ability.  His growth slowed though after the initial leap forward.

Another son was more like the Tortoise.  He didn’t have the natural talent or an innate understanding of it.  He needed to concentrate on the skill and worked each moment to get better… and did, each day.

And, finally, our other son was really more of a flower… a late bloomer in fact.  He participated.  He went through the process with no real discernable, or certainly not rapid, growth.  But, at the end, when put to a challenge on the finally day of “The Big Hill”, he rose to the occassion.  He showed that he had picked up skills along the way and was doing remarkably well for his age and where he started.

So, the moral of the story… well, we don’t generally compare our kids but there is an illustrative lesson here.  All three kids started with nothing.  And, all three progressed to make their parents proud.  But, they did it in their own way and on their own terms.  And, this leads to something that everyone can learn.  Not just that people have different learning styles, or that there are many ways to win one’s own race.  Something that I believe is more important.  You need to know and understand your own learning style.  Are you a Hare, a Tortoise or a Flower, or perhaps something else… Aardvark?  And, that you may have a different learning style for different things. 

Knowing this about yourself will allow you to excel and to explore your boundaries more personally and more professionally.  And, with this new take on an old story, we can now celebrate all the participants in the race.


Are You Falling Enough?

March 23, 2010

My family and I just finished a week’s vacation skiing which included amazing weather, lots of fun with friends, pretty good snow conditions for March and lessons for the kids.  In fact, this was the first time that any of our kids had been on skis and they had a truly amazing experience with really good instructors.

Snow School... sometimes upright, sometimes not

The days would go something like this.  Get up.  Have breakfast.  Go to the ski hill.  Get equipment.  Kids take lesson.  Parents go skiing.  Lessons finish.  Lunch is had.  Parents take kids skiing in the afternoon.  Go to the resort.  Relax.  Have dinner. Hang out.  Sleep.  Repeat.  Sounds like a pretty great recipe for a day.

One day, I was taking one of my kids skiing and he became really really upset.  He couldn’t control his crying and was becoming beside himself.  While trying to console him, I discovered that what made him so upset was that he was falling.  In fact, in his mind, that’s basically all that he was doing.  Being a bit of a perfectionist in that he always wants to do everything really well or he sees it as a failure, falling was the ultimate embarrassment.

So, trying to reframe how he was thinking, I tried to reinforce a belief that my wife and I have which is that skiing is all about falling down.  If you are not pushing or exploring your limits, your likely always safely standing.  I tried to explain that we were proud of him trying new things and that his falling meant that he was learning and becoming a better skier. 

I’m not sure truly how much of that message he got.  Probably doesn’t matter as he will learn it over time.  What’s important though is that it is a very useful truth. 

In fact, over the next couple of days, I reflected that I had not fallen once during the holiday.  And, my skiing was the best that it likely had ever been.  I couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps I need to explore my limits a little more.  Well, I continued to push myself — exploring my limits — and yes, going down a steep run right underneath a chair lift in full view of everyone, I fell.  It wasn’t a spectacular crash but it did signify that I had left my comfort zone.

I left that week of skiing very content knowing that I did at least fall once.  And, I look forward to seeing how I’m falling in other areas as well.  How about you?  Are You Falling enough?


Believe in The Evolution of Your Mindset

March 1, 2010

The Olympics are over and hopefully you still “Believe”. In fact, I was thinking about how much believing is a part of something that I talk about called the Evolution of Mindset. Whether you’re an athlete, a businessperson, a volunteer, a parent, a bon vivant, or just the girl next door, everyone goes through the Evolution of Mindset. The more you understand the Evolution of Mindset, the better you can understand yourself. The better you understand you, the higher performing you will be. A part of that is understanding at what point in the process you actually believe in yourself.

So, take one area or situation of your life and decide where you are on the Evolution of Mindset.

Enjoy!

The Evolution of Mindset

  • I can’t do that
  • I don’t think I can do that
  • I don’t know if I can do that
  • I can probably do that
  • I am going to do this
  • I am doing this
  • I am this…

In the Beginning, there was an Olympic Slogan…

February 25, 2010

For those who are paying attention to the Olympics in Canada, you cannot miss the use of the slogan… “I Believe”. There’s been much written about this slogan and I want to weigh in with my thoughts… perhaps even my beliefs.

The Olympics is all about performance and results. It is about healthy competition (yes, actually competing against one another as well as yourself). Many things contribute to one’s ability to perform (whether that is in the Olympics, in the office, or at home). And, one of the fundamental building blocks to success is belief.

Once we believe, then we can allow it to happen. Now, to be clear, unsubstantiated beliefs will not make anything happen. But, lack of belief for something that is substantiated can be a road block. For example, research shows that unqualified affirmations don’t have any affect in a persons ability to perform. But, affirmations that are grounded in seeds of truth do reinforce successful performance.

So, how does this affect the Olympic slogan? Well, I like the slogan because it is the starting point for where we need to come at the Olympics. We need to believe (as Canadians anyway), that our elite athlete programs are producing individuals who are competing at the top of their game and that this is at the very top in the world. Something that we generally do not assume.

Although this message is important to Canadians in general, probably the most important audience for this are the Canadian athletes themselves. They need to know that with their hard work and effort it is very possible for them to do well, to be world class, and to obtain a medal. The results are showing. Although we will likely not get quite as many medals as we did in the last Winter Olympics, we are getting more gold. A pedestal that we are getting more comfortable standing on. That is a great result.
So, what is my take on this slogan. I love it. And, I think it’s something that everyone can use in their own relay race through life.

Belief is where is begins.


High Performance and the Olympics… Duh…

February 21, 2010

Of course, great examples of high performance exist at the Olympics. And, if you pay attention to what the athletes and the coaches say about the athletic performances, they will often say that performance comes back to mindset. A really great example of this was given today during the hockey game between the USA and Canada. At the game, Alex Bilodeau, who was the first Canadian to win an Olympic gold on Canadian soil, was asked whether he was more nervous watching the Canadian team playing or participating in the final of the Men’s Moguls in Freestyle Skiing. He responded quickly and confidently, “I’m way more nervous today because I don’t control anything.”

Control is one of the most powerful words / concepts that we have. If you have control, you have a lot. You tend to perform better, be more confident of the outcome and react better to a negative outcome. And, if you listen to the winning athletes, they tend to sound like they have control before during and after the event. They believe that they have control not over others but of their situation (not matter what the end result is).

So, if you want to wish your favourite athlete well, wish them control. And, here’s to control for you as well.